I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
