no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
