Pants 0. Shit 1.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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