I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
