I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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