ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
