it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
