I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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