Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
