That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
