i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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