Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
