You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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