i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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