i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
