Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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