All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
