I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She just used a chaser for red wine.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
God I need to hump something, right now.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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