Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
