i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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