i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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