Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I accidentally burped into my bong.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
