Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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