was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
