More tranny stories later!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
