they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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