This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
