no, he came in my armpit
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
