Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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