i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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