I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
