and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
