Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
