Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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