I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
BRING THE BAGELS
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
