me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
