Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
