do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
