Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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