did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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