i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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