Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
