I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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