I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
