You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
