ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize