Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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