you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
