Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
