i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
