ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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