Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
