Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
this hospital has no fireball
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
