So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
