roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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