smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
