Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
