Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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