i don't like sucking hair
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
