i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
