i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think a kid would responsible me up
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Come on in and take your pants off
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