Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
