we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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