got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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