once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
