hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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