HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
