We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
