Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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