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There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize