Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(931): View more from Tennessee

there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.

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(703): View more from Virginia

oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again

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(303): View more from Colorado

You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself

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(916): View more from California

I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.

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(660): View more from Missouri

I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket

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(631): View more from New York

I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry

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